HOUSE OF KARE-KARE

queer pin@y / / powered by kanin & ulam

on [not] coming out

friend: i can’t believe you haven’t come out to your dad. this hasn’t happened?

me: well you know. my dad was deported for like 8 years. and now i’m in grad school. 

* * * * *

this shit is awkward, folks. i am fucking tired of being made to feel less than // not queer enough for postponing indefinitely the actual conversation of ‘dad i’m queer gay.’ like am i supposed to fucking feel ashamed of my closet?

because, i am not. my closet is a nice ass pad, dude! i have a roommate, two cats, a car, a degree and another one coming. and while my parents are wondering why i have so many interesting friends, and people who they insist are my girlfriends, i am fucking okay. 

will i ever come out to my dad? you know, i really don’t know. shit’s complicated. we’re complicated. how could i tell my dad i’m queer gay when he was on the other side of the world, deported? how do i tell him now that he’s back, and our family’s in massive debt, and i’m entering my last semester of grad school, terrified of graduation, job hunting, and maybe moving to another part of the country again?

for fuck’s sake. this shit is damaging. that i am made to feel ashamed for not coming out to even one person i know. i remember years ago thinking, i have to prove that i am queer enough because i’m not out to everyone so i’m going to as involved as much as i can with queer organizing and i will be okay and i will feel good enough. that shit felt empty after a while, and i had to really take some time to ask myself if this belief was really true. that i had to figure this out on my own, feeling lost and not really having words for my experiences instead of having someone be like, it’s ok there’s more than one coming out/coming into story. that is fucked up, folks. that’s fucked up. 

what i am saying is that the narratives of queer people exist far beyond the you come out get kicked out and then rise from the ashes like a glittery ass queermo that you are. there are queer folks that grit their fucking teeth every fucking day, working and making it not because they’re resilient but because they fucking have to for one reason or another. 

queerandbrown:

It has a been a long, cold winter in Pittsburgh. But we are waking up! Check queerandbrown.com soon for new qtpoc interviews and keep an eye out for upcoming events and news!
So happy that spring is here,
Team Q&B

queerandbrown:

It has a been a long, cold winter in Pittsburgh.
But we are waking up! Check queerandbrown.com soon for new qtpoc interviews and keep an eye out for upcoming events and news!

So happy that spring is here,

Team Q&B

(via gadaboutgreen)

tokyo-fashion:

Toshio Yoshizawa, the founder of the Japanese hat company CA4LA, on the street in Harajuku. Even though Mr. Yoshizawa is the president of Japan’s top specialty hat company (with over 20 stores nationwide), we still see him walking leisurely around the streets of Harajuku often, always dressed in a suit and wearing a hat.

tokyo-fashion:

Toshio Yoshizawa, the founder of the Japanese hat company CA4LA, on the street in Harajuku. Even though Mr. Yoshizawa is the president of Japan’s top specialty hat company (with over 20 stores nationwide), we still see him walking leisurely around the streets of Harajuku often, always dressed in a suit and wearing a hat.

socialworkeroneday asked: Why do you want to not like her?

thisisnotsocialwork:

thanks for asking!

because i am tired of seeing the same damn nice white lady archetype saving the fucking day. because brene brown is actively profiting off of the work of people of color. she even quotes them directly, and yet in discourse she’s still elevated (fuck! she was even on oprah!) as this person who is going to make us all better if we could just open ourselves up to vulnerability, which not everyone has the luxury to do —- such survivors of trauma, for example. students of color in academia do not have the luxury of being “wholehearted” in the classroom. being wholehearted in the classroom would have ended up in me getting pushed out of school in fucking 5th grade.

that shame stuff she researched about? check out black feminist scholar bell hooks

so, this piece that brown wrote when she was a doctoral student makes me want to like her despite her nice white lady shenanigans. a contradiction, not a dilemma, for me. i respect that she is willing to engage with her students with a critical lens, but it doesn’t erase my other critiques of brown’s whitewashed, banana nut muffin & beer version of intersectionality. 

compoundchem:

Version 2 of the Rough Guide to Spotting Bad Science - a few edits to include suggestions after the initial posting yesterday. Bear in mind this is meant to be very generalised, so for some articles/research some points may not apply.
Thanks to anyone who volunteered suggestions for improving the graphic, and to everyone who shared it - it’s certainly got a lot more attention than expected! As such, I’ve been pretty preoccupied producing the updated version and answering people’s queries, so I have a small backlog of asks, but rest assured I will get around to answering them in due course.
Download link here: http://wp.me/p4aPLT-ap 

compoundchem:

Version 2 of the Rough Guide to Spotting Bad Science - a few edits to include suggestions after the initial posting yesterday. Bear in mind this is meant to be very generalised, so for some articles/research some points may not apply.

Thanks to anyone who volunteered suggestions for improving the graphic, and to everyone who shared it - it’s certainly got a lot more attention than expected! As such, I’ve been pretty preoccupied producing the updated version and answering people’s queries, so I have a small backlog of asks, but rest assured I will get around to answering them in due course.


Download link here: